Fluffy Bunny thoughts, you know...like I do.

My husband has abandoned me.
Well, not really.  He went to Florida for ten days to visit his folks- he will be back.
Due to financial and time constraints we chose to do separate family visits this year.
As I get ready for bed this evening and putter around the house, I am disconcerted.
And a bit sad.
We aren't particularly exciting on "school nights," but I find myself missing "our" routine.
Things feel "wrong" without him.  It's not like when he has class and I know he's coming in late, it's weird to think I'll be sleeping alone for the next week and a half.
I can't say that I am a fan of this sleeping alone thing.
I guess that's a good thing.
Go marriage!

ANYHOO.
Life has been the normal August into September bonkerpants mess at work.
Which means I don't have much time for anything else.
And that gives me all kinds of the negative feels and I am seeking ways to change that.
I don't want to work all the time.
There are other things I want to do.
I am trying to be patient, loving and open in the waiting.
But it can be hard.  SO hard. What the heck is next?
Oh, God.....YOU.
I trust Him.  But I am unbelievably exhausted on so many levels.
And guarding my time with Him has been an INCREDIBLE CHALLENGE.
Arg.

And yet, He still speaks.  SO MUCH.  ALL THE TIME.
MY TINY BRAIN CANNOT HANDLE ALL THE THINGS.
All the big things that matter.

As we approach the anniversary of 9/11- and in an election year- I am currently pondering the fluffy notions of faith and politics.
Good times.
That won't make your head explode at all.

Oh, Bill Watterson, you are forever the best.

We are now 15 years on from 9/11...with some "distance,"  I wonder- what have we learned?
As Christians- what have we learned?
Anything?
I wonder.
I really do.

In the tragedy that was 9/11- the horror, the loss, the grief....we saw a birth of the best in people.
Everyday heroes who worked tirelessly in the ruin of the towers seeking survivors as well as those who didn't.  We mourned together, we cried together, we prayed together, we took care of one another.  Community- the kind we are all created to crave- happened.  In the grief, there was beauty.

But I think something else crept in as well.  A kind of fear that breeds suspicion and violence.
A kind of fear that makes us value safety above all other things.
A kind of fear that cripples us and blocks the way of miracles, signs and wonders.
A kind of fear that stifles the very community we longed for and felt.
A kind of fear that feeds on unlove and lawlessness.

A kind of fear that is war.
And war feeds war.  And families suffer. All over the world.  Children in Iraq celebrate birthdays in a park with their families as American bombs fall nearby- it doesn't phase them.  True story y'all.
Can you imagine?
Having a picnic as buildings explode around you?  And you keep celebrating because this is "normal?"
REALLY?
WHAT....THE....HELL.
Shock and Awe?
What is that?  THAT IS INSANE.
The afore mentioned birthday party is a true account shared by Shane Claiborne as he was in Iraq during that Shock and Awe mission.
What the hell?

I am having some BIG THOUGHTS, people.
And I am troubled, deeply.
I think about my brothers and sisters across the globe who suffer war and famine and disease and abuse on a daily basis.  Thousands of people die every day in war, terror, neglect.  Their "normal" causes my soul to weep- deep, gulping sobs of....loss, helplessness, anger, fury and yes, sometimes, hopelessness.
I have not lost my hope in God, not at all.
But I fear for my hope in His children.
His children who are more interested in Instagram than in living, breathing people.
I fear His children will become crippled by fear,
by "safety,"
by ignorance,
by self induced blindness.
Blind to the suffering of others, we will sit safely in our churches on Sunday morning, eating the sugary, artificial goodness of "our best life now"- and we lose out.
We lose out on the opportunity to be with God.  As He ministers to the unwashed, the unwanted, the unloved- through US.  Through His children.

"Rebirth is about being adopted into a new family-

without borders.

With new eyes we can see that our family

is both local and global,

including but transcending biology, tribe or nationality..."

"...life is more powerful than death

and it is more courageous to love our enemies 

than to kill them."

Shane Claiborne

It is true, that thoughts like that could get you killed.
Not everyone thinks this way (obviously)
But if we want peace, we must be willing to pay the cost.
Even if that cost is our life.
Jesus did it.  Just sayin'.
And if that's the case, how does that change things?
How do we approach life?
How do we live each day- loving everyone in our path- like it's our best, last day?
How would that change the world?

Light wins.
Love wins.

And yes, we can approach this as individuals.  After all, this is 'MERICA...you know.
Land of the individual, home of the i-phone!

But if you love, and I love and we love together- it isn't addition- it is multiplication.
And it can MOVE MOUNTAINS.
Loving together, living in community- treating our  God given "family" like they are FAMILY...this is the kind of thing that changes lives.  Dare I say it?  It could really change the world.
(PS- Peeps in Jesus, if you didn't get it- "family" means EVERYBODY- including those enemies we're, um...commanded to love- BTW)
Let's let go of our crap- our pride, our possessions, our little quirks, our high and holy self-righteousness, our need to be important, to be right- we need to hold these things loosely- so that if God asks us to surrender them- we're ready.

Is it easy?
HECK NO.
If it were, I think we'd see a lot more of it happening.
Remember the rich, young ruler?  How Jesus told him to sell everything and give it to the poor?
Remember, he couldn't do it.  And that broke Jesus's heart, but He didn't chase him or force the guy to give it all up.  Ahh.  Free will. LOVE THAT STUFF.
We have to be willing.  And open- and then, we need to step out in faith and take action.
I have heard a lot of sermons about how Jesus wasn't really asking the guy to sell ALL his stuff...but the thing is...He was.  You can spin it all you like- but Jesus can ask us to do whatever He wants. Then He leaves it up to us to do it.  He may ask you something different than He might ask me- or He might not.  He wants us.  And He will ask us to get rid of anything that keeps us from Him.  If that means selling ALL of our stuff- so be it.
Now- it may take m...I mean "us" awhile to get where we need to- but He is gracious, and patient. And He is faithful.

So if you feel stuck, hang in there.
I get it.  I do.
Me too.
But we keep on keepin' on.  We look for love.
We love. We keep going.  We fight the system.  We counter the culture- that's what Jesus did.
He didn't take over the government- He took over the world.
Through love, through healing, through laying down His life.  That's all He's asking of us.  He's not asking us to do anything He hasn't already done.

Ephesians 6:12 says For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil.

I have been pondering this verse in a new light.  We know that our world "powers" are messed up.
Don't we? As a nation- it's a mess.
Health care.
Welfare.
Racism.
Misogyny.
Corruption in the judiciary and law enforcement.
Campaign contributions and politics
How we treat the mentally ill, the veteran, the prisoner.
How much money we spend on defense.

I know many of us think of this verse in light of Frank Peretti books, kind of loosey-goosey-whoo-hoo-demons-floating-in-space, but what if it's all a bit more pragmatic than that?  Our systems are not just.
Injustice is not God's will.
Nor is war.
So...what are you going to do about it?
What am I going to do about it?
Stay tuned.....

Fear is when we let being scared stop us

from doing what love requires of us.

Maireed Maguire