On the brink...

Here we are.
Mere days, nay hours from an Inauguration that many of us never thought would happen.
The world seems to have gone insane.
None of us know how to get to the truth.
The craziness that comes from the president-elect, the press, the government- is alarming at best.
Dark days are fast approaching.
Marches and protests are planned, there is no pink yarn to be found.
I wonder, how will it all work?

 art by Jenna Schwartz

Will the selfish and powerful and proud look out at the millions who are hurting and angry about injustice and change their minds?  Their hearts?
I suspect not.
What will this do to the people who are crying out from the depths of their souls?
What will happen?
I am sure the marches and protests will bring community, unity, affirmation, comfort, an outlet for justified frustration...but will they bring true and lasting change?
I guess we will find out.

What will happen to the people who voted for Trump when he doesn't live up to their expectations and it all comes crashing down?

So much pain.

And for those of us who follow Christ, what does this mean?
I mean- what does "what does this mean" even mean?
These are darker times than most of us have seen in our lifetime.
How do we proceed?
People want to leap into action- I get it.  I do.
I want to leap into action- but all of the crazy seems SO BIG AND HUGE, I have no idea where to begin.

A friend of mine loaned me a book called The Curse of the Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold.  I have been reading it this week as I have been knocked down by the gick that seems to be taking over the world.  And in 501 pages, two small passages have been burning in my brain:

A saint is not a virtuous soul, but an empty one. He-or she- 

freely gives the gift of their will to their god.  

And in renouncing action, 

makes action possible.

Events may be horrible or inescapable.

Men always have a choice-

if not whether, 

then how,

they may endure.

Whoa.  Truth.

In fiction, in story- we find truth.  We find the divine.

Now- it is up to us to respond.

Government won't save us.

Only God can save.

Christians say they believe that- but more often than not, they- WE lean on our own understanding.

We try and work it out.  We reason, we finesse, we talk, talk, talk.

We don't be still.

We aren't silent.

We don't empty ourselves and renounce action so we may make action possible.

We can't get out of the way.

Sigh.

I really want to get out of the way.

What does surrender look like?

And I wonder- if we could get to this place of communion with the divine- what would the world look like?
Cease striving- and know He is God.

And let God be God.

We live in a country with many wonderful freedoms, privileges and riches.

We live in a country with much sin- for which there has been no repentance.

And yet, we still expect God to bless us. 'MERICA.  LET'S MAKE IT GREAT.

Umm.  Not so much.

I think what we are seeing in these dark days- is what we have sown.

Sorry- that's truth.

We have sown seeds of hate, murder, racism, genocide, slavery, greed, slander, deceit.

Lawlessness and Unlove rooted in pride and fear- which has born fruit of all sorts of horrors.

And those of us who have not actively participated, have passively stood by as it happened.

Is it any wonder that things are such a mess?
In a country founded on oppression and genocide?

And where is the Church in the face of all this injustice?
It's an honest question- because while there are pockets of love and justice- as a whole-the Bride has been corrupted by the system and the Church looks more like the world than the other way around.

Also truth...

I am also the Church- and I am tired of being a bystander.

I pray that God would call me to the night watches- that He would teach me how to pray through these times.  Because- I am at a loss of how to pray- and in that communion with Him- He would teach me how to love- how to fight the injustice...because I don't know how.

I pray that he would ignite a revolution of truth and love and justice in His children.

I pray that I wouldn't miss it.

I pray that I trust Him enough to stand on His word that says He has overcome the world.

I pray that I trust in Him more than I trust in anything on this earth.

I am too small in so many ways to fight.

But I am willing.

I am open.

How long shall the wicked, O Lord, 

How long shall the wicked exult?

They pour forth words, they speak arrogantly;

All who do wickedness vaunt themselves.

They crush your people,

O lord,

and afflict Your heritage.

They slay the widow and the stranger

and murder the orphans

They have said,

"The lord does not see, nor does the God of Jacob pay heed."

Pay heed, 

you senseless among the people;

And when will you understand,

stupid ones?

He who planted the ear, does he not hear?

He who formed the eye, does he not see?

He who CHASTENS THE NATIONS, will He not rebuke,

Even he who teaches man knowledge?

The Lord knows thee thoughts of man,

that they are a mere breath.

Blessed is the man whom You chasten, O Lord,

And whom You teach out of your law;

That You may grant him relief from the days of adversity,

until a pit is dug for the wicked,

For the Lord will not abandon His people,

Nor will He forsake His inheritance

For judgement will again be righteous, 

and all the upright in heart will follow it.

Who will stand up for me against evildoers?

Who will take his stand for me against those who do wickedness?

If the Lord had not been my help,

My soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence.

If I should say, "My foot has slipped,"
Your lovingkindness, O Lord, will hold me up.

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Your consolations delight my soul.

Can a throne of destruction be allied with You,

One which devises mischief by decree?
They band themselves together against the life of the righteous,

and condemn the innocent to death.

But the Lord has been my stronghold,

And my God the rock of my refuge.

He has brought back their wickedness upon them

and will destroy them in their evil;

the Lord our God will destroy them.

Psalm 94: 3-23

Selah.