Hang on....

Where do we begin?
I know I have been radio silent for awhile- but Dad came to visit for a few weeks, we celebrated my mom's life on the 3rd anniversary of her death, we're in the height of crazy, bonkerpants Christmas at work...and there is SO MUCH HAPPENING in my brain...yikes.

So, how's it going?

How are we all feeling?
Stressed?  Angry?  Terrified?  Militant?

How are things going for you?

The other day I had a dream- it started as a normal anxiety dream- pretty typical during times of high work stress, something along the lines of I hadn't designed my thesis, hence I wouldn't graduate- that sort of thing...but then it shifted in an odd way.

I was sitting in the lobby of my dorm, reading a magazine.
There was a photo of Donald Trump in the magazine.

Suddenly, he appeared behind me, unhappy because I had not expressed enough (or any) outward delight at this photo of him.

He handed me two blue feathers and walked away. (Hang in there- I know it's weird)

I knew I was "marked."

In my "knower," I knew that he had put a hit on me.  On a whim.  He was going to kill me because I wasn't delighted at a PHOTO.

I knew I had to get the heck out of dodge.

As I was heading back to my dorm room, things "clicked" in my mind, things that had seems strange suddenly made sense- my roommate was an agent of his, keeping an eye on me.

As I walked, surveillance cameras were revealed all around me. Things hidden, became obvious.
And dangerous.

As unobtrusively as I could, I broke the feathers and shoved them in my pocket...and thought, this is how it started with the Holocaust, with the stars...

As I got to my dorm room, I could see a "fog" or a gas coming out of the vents of the door.

Eventually it stopped, and I opened the door.

My roommate was dead on the stairs.

And I thought, "He killed one of his own to get to me."

I started to pack.  A few friends appeared out of nowhere (like they do in dreams) to help me.

I was hunting high and low for my art supplies, when a dear friend of mine- one who has been a spiritual mom to me, who has spoken prophetically into my life for years appeared and said,

"You have to go.  You have to go NOW.  YOU HAVE TO GO NOW."

As I ran to my car, it had been blocked by a truck belonging to Trump's people disguised as work men.

I hid as my friends "played innocent" with the "work men" and got them to move the vehicle, his people couldn't give away their true purpose, so my friends were able to get them to cooperate so I could escape.

As I started the car, I woke up.

I know, it's weird.  But I wonder....I have crazy dreams sometimes, but sometimes, I have prophetic dreams.  

Right now, I feel.....the peace that passes all understanding.

That dream frightened me at first, but now....it doesn't.

I know the dream seems "funny."  But I don't actually think it is.

It's weird, but true.
The hate, division and vitriol spew all over the country- between people I love....

You can't find any "facts" about anything- it's all spun one way or another depending on what "camp" you're in.

The world is going to hell in a handbasket, going batshit crazy...and I am....at peace.

Oddly.

But there is a tension- a tension in the waiting.

We are on the verge of something important.

I am intrigued to see how it turns out.

Will we humble ourselves and repent?  Will we do it so God will heal our land?
OR will we allow the devil to divide us into warring factions?

Will we become, as christians, ministers of reconciliation?  Repairers of the breach?  Or ones who justify violence?  Crucify our Lord...again?
Particularly in our own "family"- where we are so divided and there is so much infighting that we are ruining the reputation of our Christ and our God?

What will we do?

Nothing will change who God is. Nothing will change who Christ is, or what He has done for us. 

Nothing will change God's love for us.

But it is up to us.

Oh- that free will.  It's a booger isn't it?

Will we be able to lay down whatever self-righteousness we feel entitled to?  Will we be able to love?

Or have our hearts grown far too cold?
Are we complacent in our comfort?
Or will we be able to be broken to love again?

Because our world needs it.

It needs it NOW.

It will need it tomorrow and in the days to come.

No matter the outcome of the election- we are to care and love the other.

I feel like a broken record sometimes, saying this over and over again.

But these thoughts consume my soul.  LOVE.

I am not talking about being "friendly."
I am talking about- will you protect innocent people? Refugees? Will you extend grace to those who don't think like you?  Are you really willing to lay down your life?  Are you willing to stand for what you believe in?  To go to jail?  To die?  To suffer?  To really, truly love with everything in you?

To do all this for your enemy?

I know it's hard.  I do.

I struggle with the hate I see in the world, from MY FRIENDS- but that doesn't change the fact that God has called me to CHOOSE TO LOVE- all of them.  Even when, especially when- I don't agree with them.

To be a repairer of the breach.  

To fight for the oppressed.

To love the unloveable.

This scripture has been floating in my world as of late:

For the sorrow that is the will of God

produces a repentance

without regret

leading to salvation,

but the sorrow of the world

produces death.

2 Corinthians 7:10

To me, this is the difference between conviction and condemnation.

Conviction brings freedom and relief.

Condemnation feels like everything is going to crap and nothing can stop it.

There is much to be sorrowful for in our world right now.

MUCH.

But, if we humble ourselves, repent and pray- God will heal our land.  He said so, but we must do our part.  We must be humble in our hearts- and pray.

He can move the mountains.

Repentance without regret.

Being unburdened, being free- sounds lovely, doesn't it?
If you are trapped in a circle of despair, if you are stuck- perhaps....you need to ask God if there is anything you need to repent for?
Unlove?

Racism?

Pride?
Unjust judgement? (I KNOW, that one is a fun one...so I hear tell)

Complacency?

Prejudice?
People pleasing?

Just a thought....

Be free.

I read this somewhere this morning, 

"...prophets and poets lead us into a new world,

beyond simply yelling at the old one."

Y'all.

I need to break something to you,

If you think it's time for "America to be great again,"

it's not gonna happen.

Those days that white male privilege longs for are gone.

God is waking people up, 

opening their eyes to injustice.

It's not going to stop.  He will continue to sow seeds of revelation and love.

It's how He rolls.

He gives sight to the blind, and a lot of eyes are being opened right now.

God values each and every person.

I read something the other day that struck me,

...when we are used to privilege, being treated "equal" feels like oppression.

Ouch.

It won't stop.

We can't go back to the "good old days," which frankly, were only "good" for a few.

So embrace the change.

Who knows what amazing things God will do.

He's bigger than the government.

He's bigger than a president, or a senate, or a house or even a judiciary.

Legislation does not change hearts.

And hearts are what change lives.

LOVE changes lives.

Let go of your fear, and get ready to love,

It's gonna be a helluva ride.