A paragraph per week....

...is the challenge and encouragement from members of my new small group of ladies that I meet with on Fridays.

Of course, you sit down to write a paragraph...and a kajillion words later....

But that helps.  Small bites.  Something doable.  So, my last post was in...July?  Back then, I started this blog again because I felt like I was supposed to, you know, share some of the stuff I am processing in my ever spinning brain and then LIFE.  Because...life.
I know you know what I am talking about.

So- a paragraph per week.  We'll start there- and go.  So feel free to encourage or help if I don't.
In other words, call me on my crap.

Meanwhile, since July:

Marty had his thyroid surgically removed, did the low-iodine diet thing, did the radioactive iodine thing and got the "all clear" for now.  Cancer, you suck.  Even the this-is-the-easiest-cancer-to-treat-with-excellent-results kind of cancer SUCKS.  (to all those dealing with more serious cancers, CANCER SUCKS, and my love and prayers are with you) But we did it and other than follow-ups- we're good.
YAY.

Work.  I just can't even.  Ridiculous.  So many shows.  We extended the run for Godspell- which was a surprisingly  high maintenance show- although, we all find it a bit odd that the crocheted tights worn with shorts were one of the few things we DIDN'T need to replace.  Then the 3 school touring shows and DRACULA.

 Ah, Dracula.  Lots of fun.  Great themes of sacrifice and love and friendship.  And BLOOD.  Ah, blood.

 And here is the money shot:

Photo by Erik Stuhaug

Right?  The cape rocks. You are welcome.

So, that's Dracula..  Lots of laundry...LOTS.  And wigs, and sticky blood.
And now- I am working on 6 Christmas shows- with only one of my 3 core team members working part time.  And that's been...well, it's been.  My lovely team has moved on with life, which is as it should be, and I am in a lovely place of hellish transition.  I am interviewing people, doing fittings for 26 actors, prepping a photo shoot (3 women, corsets, wigs) for the first week of November and designing another show, and you know, trying to get the actual costumes for the shows done.

Bless.

On a fun note, I have started helping this lovely lady, Sandra Byrd:
http://www.sandrabyrd.com/
She is writing a series of Gothic novels and one involves a costumer. It's an interesting process as her protagonist is in a place of questioning herself and why she does what she does...which is, you know, me.
Except that I am old enough to be the protagonist's mom, and not in a knocked-up in high school kind of way.  But helping her helps me process some of my own questions and examine my art and how it relates to ministry and call and such. We shall see where it goes- and I find the land of publishing super interesting, especially as I am feeling inclined to write as of late. Plus, that woman is a lot of fun.

And Dad is here for 3 weeks.  He's fun too.  We roll him into everything we do- and he does pretty well. I've had to work a lot more than normal, so that's been weird.  But we're going to Victoria, B. C. (Tea!) so I am hoping we can have some great experiences and build some awesome memories.

Look- I use photos now, because I am sooooo tech savvy.

This is from a trip to the Empress in Victoria with one of my besties last year.

This week has been the second anniversary of Mom's death.  Last year we sent up a lantern on Whidbey.  So we decided to make it a thing.  This time we were at Golden Gardens and had a failed attempt and I ended up wading into a freezing cold Puget Sound in the dark (because I am smart like that, thank goodness it's too cold for piranhas) but we eventually got one off and it was lovely up there amongst the stars....

Good times and first world problems.

But this is why I haven't been writing.  Well, actually, I've been writing like a mad woman, in my journal, old school.  But I know that it's time to move on, to get thoughts out into the ether.  (Hi, Tamara) So here we go- musings with Sarah.  Fair warning, bumpy ride ahead.

And just because life isn't bonkerpants enough, I've just been hitting some spiritual stuff pretty hard core.  I will hopefully delve into that more deeply, but you know, baby steps.

There are a lot of pensive ponderings of dying to self, repentance- and how do you do that without falling into condemnation and despair, how do you hear and obey...love and forgive...steward things well...sort out what is God speaking vs. your own opinions...you know, fluffy bunny sort of stuff.

I am reading a lot of Tozer, because, he's very "fluffy bunny."  NOT.  Love that guy.  I am just thankful he is with Jesus, because if he was lamenting the state of the church 60 years ago, he'd be a puddle in the corner right now.  Wow.  I am constantly amazed that I so clearly recognize things he was seeing so long ago.  So I am spinning on that....in my brain...in all my copious spare time.  And I wonder, what's next?

These are BIG THOUGHTS and FEELINGS that I am processing here.  What the heck do I do with them?  So, in one of my quiet times a few weeks ago- I got a picture of a butterfly cocoon in my spirit.  I sensed that God was saying that I was in the cocoon, incubating...training, reading, learning, learning about the prophetic, what the Bible says about prophets and the prophetic.  How do I not end up in the belly of a whale (I live in the Pacific NW, it could happen)- that sort of thing.  And then God gently reminded me that the butterfly has to WORK to get out of the cocoon, to build strength.
Yay.  Something to look forward to.

Twittering birds, fluffy bunnies.

But I love it.  I love my times with God. I can't tell you how many times I have read the book of Jeremiah in the Bible and it's like I am reading it for the first time now.  Fascinating.  There are a few scriptures I have been parked in for the last couple of months that I am just chewing, chewing, chewing.  I had this brilliant idea to write down everything Jesus said- just that, and see what it looks like.  But no,  I am still parked in Isaiah and Jeremiah.  So here's what I am chewing on, I am not going to copy it here.  You can look it up.  Look it up and tell me...what happens?  Does this resonate with you?  And if it does, why?  Let me know, I am interested to hear what people think.

Because- there is a shift happening.  A big one.  A reforming one.  There's a shaking of false teachers and teaching.  Idols are collapsing all over the place.
My recommendation?   Cooperate.

To be honest, I drank the Kool-aid for awhile, for quite awhile.  True story. I was unbelievably and embarrassingly self-righteous.  My way or the high-way, because my way was obviously God's. Hoo boy. Yikes.  True, true story.  Apologies to...well, everyone.

But, with some distance and soul-searching, I've discovered:
a.  I don't even begin to know everything.
b. That is okay.
c.  We are all in this together.
d.  That don't judge thing?  Yeah.  Do that.  We don't know people's stories, we don't know where they are coming from on any given moment of any given day. We cannot hold them responsible for our own revelation. Their journey is not our journey- and THAT IS OKAY.
e.  People don't need to think like we do.
f.  God is always.  Yep,  He is.  God.  Always.
g.  God doesn't need me to defend Him.  He created the universes...He's cool.
h.  It is all about LOVE, and that is way harder than it sounds.

But there is a shaking.  If you have ears to hear (remember how that's repeated in Revelation?)
Don't assume.  Listen.
Be bothered.
Be moved.
Ponder and pray.
And then,
Do.

Meanwhile, back at those scriptures I was talking about:
Isaiah 1: 16-17, 19, 23, 27.  Aw, heck.  Read the whole chapter.
Isaiah 32- He is talkin' to you, ladies....
Isaiah 58:6-12
Isaiah 59:12
Isaiah 61:14
Selah.

May injustice bow to Jesus...