It begins with Garfield...

I just can't even.
How is this happening?
How did we get here? I mean, politicians have always been politicians, but COME ON.
For reals.

Perhaps, it's because I am super-sensitive at the moment.
Here in my Lenten time I am scaling back. I am trying to let go of consumption and self-centeredness; I  am scaling back waste, media time, spending and stuff.
I am trying to focus on what matters- it's painful and humbling and convicting, and we're only half-way through...yay.
I am hyper-aware of the poor and needy in the world- at least more so than I was.  I am hyper-aware of my lackadaisical, consumeristic self.  I am hyper aware that I need to change my heart, my mind, my actions.  I need to stop drinking the Kool-aid  (seriously- red dye and sugar?)
I can't pass one of our many homeless in Seattle without wondering- what do I do? (Did you know Seattle has one of the, if not the highest homeless per capita in the country?  I didn't either)  How can I help and be effective? My heart is pierced and I feel helpless.  I can't save the world.

I look at the...news? Interwebs? Twits?... and I'm like- okay- there are people of sense speaking.  Lots of them talking about how Trump would be a bad, horrible and dangerous president- and yet, he WINNING.  Somehow it has become all about DONALD TRUMP.
Are you kidding me? What the hell?!?  What is happening?
Literally- he has been rightfully likened to Hitler- WHY CAN'T PEOPLE SEE THIS?  Why don't people understand that he is dangerous and hateful?

Why, God?  And why was I created for such a time as this?
What do I do?  What do we do?
ARRRRRRRG.

We live in a time where the church is often unrecognizable as such.
"Send me $5 and I will send you a prayed over, blessed hanky?" WTF?
"Excuse me as I fly to speak at a conference in a my thousand dollar suit in my private jet?
Be blessed and have a great day."
Where is that in the Bible?
Awesome.
The Bride has become self-centered and loud- full of lawlessness and unlove.
How can she (we) build kabillion dollar buildings when tens of thousands of people die of starvation every day?  When 27 MILLION people are sold into slavery (mostly women and children- much of it SEX slavery) every year?
WHO GIVES A CRAP WHAT COLOR THE PAINT IN THE NEW SANCTUARY IS????!!!!!

Our church doesn't look much like the Sermon on the Mount- she's too interested in Leviticus.
I pray.
Actually, I don't even know how to pray.
I...travail?  I am sure there is more travailing to come.  Sometimes- I'll not be able to sleep- and I'll go into the living room and pray and cry and pray and cry and journal- over the state of the WORLD.
Why me?
I am so little and powerless.
But apparently the prayer of a righteous man (woman) avails much...really?

"Yet even now," declares the lord,

"Return to me with all your heart,

with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;

and rend  your hearts and not your garments.

Return to the Lord your God 

for He is gracious and merciful,

slow to anger,

and abounding in steadfast love;

and He relents over disaster

Joel 3: 12-13

He relents over disaster?
I hope so.
I hear whispers- some comforting- some..not so much.
I hear that it doesn't matter who is president- it doesn't change who God is.  It doesn't change who Jesus is.  It shouldn't change who I am- unless it's for the better- unless it is to make me to be who God has called me to be- to make me more like Jesus.
And I wonder...
What is next?
I hear whispers that God may allow this next phase of our government to become a complete disaster and horror to give the Bride an opportunity to redeem herself.
And I wonder, is anyone listening?  Anyone paying attention?

I hear- scale back, be wise, be discerning.  It's time- time to fight for the needy and afflicted.  Time to champion the orphan and the widow. Learn how to take care of people, learn how to love them, learn what true community is... Learn how now- because there is the potential for things to get much worse- and more people will need help.

My heart is so heavy- some days, I feel like I will be crushed.
So.
Baby steps...and Garfield.

Remember how I prayed for God to connect me to people to give stuff to?
Who knew it would begin with Garfield?

I was chatting with a friend at church on Sunday- talking about her son- who is nineteen- and has Down's Syndrome. I love seeing him in church- it just blesses my soul- particularly when he dances during worship.  He hasn't been there in awhile, because apparently, he's "too distracting"- which I sort of get- but not really at all...but I digress.

ANYHOO.  This boy LOVES Garfield.  He always brings books with him to read during the sermon.  Well, come to find out- he doesn't own any- he actually gets them from the library- and I was all like- whaaaaa?  Something he loves so much?

Enter prompting from God.

It just so happens I have a BUNCH of Garfield books from when I was a kid- I loved Garfield too. So I says to myself, "Self, here is an answer to prayer.  Those books just found a good home."
So, tonight they will go with me to Bible study- along with a bunch of other books because pulling those books off the shelf started an avalanche- I cleaned out my books, which then led to cleaning the studio (which stopped half-way because I got inspired to make art-there are 3 pieces on my table in process) and will hopefully lead to more giving stuff away.

A flicker of hope and joy in a very dark time.  In the shape of a lasagna loving cat.

In other Lenten news- I am keeping track of spending this week- seeing where the $$ go- which is great-but because it's bill week, and rent week, and I just bought a plane ticket to go see my Dad, it just seems like I am spending a kajillion dollars.  As I am doing this- I am seeing strategies to cut back, spend less, waste less, save more, give more, be smarter.

Can you grow lettuce indoors?  Just a thought.

And I am still hoping to get more people to connect with all my excess "stuff."

Do you need anything?
Let me know.  I may have it or know someone who does.

So- we start with obedience.

My heart still feels heavy.
I wonder if we will become the dystopian future we see in film all the time.
Have you noticed how hard it is to find a comedy that isn't dark?
There's a reason I watch all that BBC.

I know Garfield can't save the world.
But I know who can.
And I know that He will need us, need me to do it.

So I let Him strip me down, rattle my cage, wreck me, make me uncomfortable and pull me kicking and screaming out of complacency.

Because I love Him.

And I love people (even when I want to punch them, I love them)

And I trust Him to help me love those I can't or don't know how to love yet.

Because people are what matter.

Even if my inner introvert is all like OHHELLSNOLEAVEMEALONE.

I tell her to get a grip- because in the grand scheme of eternity- people matter.

All of them.
We have value.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

And in His word I do hope.

Psalm 130:5