Despair and the loss of humanity.......

Does anyone else want to crawl into a hole and hide?
Become Amish?
Move to Canada?

I used to think the end times were a bit farther away- you know, a blink of an eye is a thousand years to God and all that...but as I look at our country and our world....I begin to wonder.
Perhaps not.

Maybe it will flood.
Nope- God promised it wouldn't and I saw not one, but TWO rainbows the other day.
Because it's raining.  In Seattle.  In winter.
I know, it's astonishing- but it's really happening, which is good because otherwise we would be in drought conditions this summer.

But boy howdy- I am feeling BUMMED.
I am really struggling as of late with despair- and depression, disillusionment, discouragement....all the big "d" words...
The world literally seems to be going to hell in a handbasket.
We are going to have to vote for the president of the United States this year- and the pickin's aren't slim, THEY ARE NONEXISTENT.

I know, I know- perhaps you have your pet candidate and that's all well and good.  In your mind they may walk on water...
But this is the reality.......

And are any of them doing the job that we are paying them kabillions of dollars to do?
To represent, to take care of, to champion the will of the people?
I think not.
Indeed, definitely not.
We don't even have a choice of the "lesser of two evils."
What the heck?

Thank goodness that God has a big BUT.
I sure would like to see it about now.

In the dreary midwinter....I am struggling.  Work is hard- I just can't even go into the gory details...
This too shall pass.
Everyone I know is really having a hard time with life- and I'm like, what the crap?
What is happening?

In my "quiet" time- which is not as often as I would like...some interesting thoughts and readings have emerged...things that make you go "hmmm," if you will.

I know that some of my posts are long- I warned you, LOTS OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND WORDS....
For those of you on the East Coast who say it's hard to get through a whole post (you know who you are...ahem) Well, you're getting walloped with a snowstorm so if you still have power, you'll have plenty o' time to catch up.  You're welcome.

ANYHOO.
Advent.  Yes, I am still in Advent- don't judge.  Holidays get busy.  But I'm no quitter- even though Epiphany is long past- I'm still epiphany-ing...Yeah, I make up words, what about it?

Thomas Merton.   I've been camped there a bit, here you go:

We live in the time of no room, which is the time of the end.

The time when everyone is obsessed with lack of time, 

lack of space, projecting into time and space the anguish produced

within them by technological furies of size, volume, quantity,

speed, number, price, power and acceleration.

Yikes.  Sound familiar?  It gets even better...

The primordial blessing, "increase and multiply" has suddenly

become a hemorage of terror.
We are numbered in the the billions, and massed together,

marshalled, numbered, marched here and there, 

taxed, drilled, armed, 

worked to the point of insensibility,

dazed by information,

drugged by entertainment,

surfeited with everything,

nauseated with the human race and ourselves, 

nauseated with life.

I KNOW.

Take a breath.  It's a lot to process.  It took me 4 days to get through that one devotional.  Sorry, but there's more....

As the end approaches, there is no room for quiet.

There is no room for solitude.

There is no room for thought.

There is no room for attention, for the awareness of our state.

In the time of the ultimate end, there is no room for man.

The time of the end is the time of demons who occupy the heart 

(pretending to be gods)

so that man finds no room for himself in himself.  

He finds no space to rest in his own heart,

not because it is full, 

but because it is void.

If only he knew that the void itself, 

when hovered over by the Spirit,

is an abyss of creativity....

yet he cannot believe it.

There is no room for belief.

Whew.

Yeah.

That.

SO.... this seems so timely.  When did he write this?  I'd really like to know.  Is it a case of nothing new under the sun?  Or are we really there?  I have no idea what to think about "the end times."  God is outside of time, and since He's the only one who really actually knows- I'm going to leave it up to Him.

But- there is so much unlove....lawlessness....hate....lies....

I have decided to stick with love.

Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Dr. Martin Luther King, jr.

Dr. King- boy howdy- he said some amazing stuff.  What a phenomenal human being. Wow.  So much truth, and grace and love.  I pray that people would do more than post stuff on walls and twitter and whatnot- and really HEAR what he was saying.  HEAR and then DO.

It's hard.  It's hard not to curl up in a ball of self-defense in a world of noise, confusion, hate, fear and Donald Trump running for president- and not in a Saturday Night Live Sketch but for reals....  I battle the temptation to flee every day.

How do I even pray?  Where do I begin?  

I don't know.  I just do.  I show up.  I read my Bible.  I ask God for help-  He is, but it's a time of breaking and stretching and trusting.  Not really a great time right now- joy is a real battle for me.

Meanwhile, back in advent....there is Eberhard Arnold (THAT is a great name) and a few notes from him:

The time is being fulfilled and the light shall shine,

perhaps just when it seems to us that the darkness is

impenetrable.

Thank heavens.

Wherever love proceeds from us and becomes truth,

the time is fulfilled.

Getting to a place where love can proceed from us and become truth....that is what we need to do.

And it's hard right now- really hard.

We need to be discerning, seeking- we need to be intentional in love.

Loving our families, our friends, our co-workers- and it's not easy.  Not at all.

We have instructions how to do it- rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks.

Everything?  Hoo boy.

Everything.

Do not quench the Spirit, do not despise prophetic utterances BUT examine EVERYTHING carefully and hold fast to that which is good.  Abstain from what is evil.

Love. Love. Love.

Not the weird Hallmark-Hollywood version that lasts 3 minutes- but true love.  Seeking one another's best... 

Eating with one another.  Listening to one another.  Crying with one another.  Laughing with one another.  Paying each other's bills.  Being there.  Turning off your damn phone.

Just do it.

Connect.

We need each other.  We need to teach our children that THEY need each other, and us...and we need them.  

How do we train up children in a world so different from the one we grew up in?
How do we teach them to not be so overcome by the technology that they forget what is real?

How do we teach them to create space to be?

Wow.  I have a lot more to say...but for you folks on the East Coast...I'll wrap it up.

Stay warm.
Be safe.

Be love.