Don't judge...

But I am already listening to Christmas music.

I have a reason.

I am in dress rehearsals for about 80 kabillion Christmas shows, I can't help it.

Well, perhaps 80 kabillion is a wee exaggeration.

Suffice it to say, Christmas music is already a part of my world whether I want it to be or not.

The old Christmas hymns.

I love 'em.

Now, don't get me wrong- I have been known to shake my booty to "All I want for Christmas is You,"  and there is a "feel-good" Christmas playlist on my Kindle that has a bunch of more contemporary music, but I really, truly and deeply love the old Christmas hymns.  I always have.

Last year, in the wake of Ferguson, we were singing "O Holy Night" at church and it pretty much wrecked me.

True story- I couldn't do it, I was crying too hard. So much power in the lyrics....

Long lay the world, in sin and error pining, 

Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth

Truly He taught us to love one another

His law is love and His gospel is peace

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother

And in His name all oppression shall cease

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we

Let all within us praise His holy name

WRECKED.  I was WRECKED.  My heart was so broken.

In a time when we, as a country, were faced with the fact that racism is still a very real deal...THESE LYRICS.

That there is some powerful stuff.

And in HIS name ALL oppression shall CEASE.

Well, perhaps not yet.  At least not that I can see.  

I always try to remember that while the victory has already been won at the cross, we haven't caught up to it yet. 

I guess we're all still working on it- or not...depending on your point of view.

Have you noticed that many Christmas hymns are cries of longing and yearning?

O Come O come Emmanuel- and ransom captive Israel, 

that mourns in lonely exile here, until the Son of God appears...

or

God rest ye, Merry Gentlemen, let nothing you dismay,

remember Christ our Savior was born upon this day,

to save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray,

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

I see a bit of a pattern here, n'est pas?

So, (spoiler alert) at the end of our mainstage Christmas show, there is caroling.  Shocking, I know.

But there you have it.

And at last night's dress rehearsal, I was distracted from the costume notes I was taking as they began to sing...

And in despair I bowed my head

There is no peace on earth I said

For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Wow.  Sound familiar?  Anyone?.

This pretty much sums up how I am feeling as of late.  How about you?

Hate IS strong, and it mocks....

As people spew hate and fear, I think to myself, has the world gone crazy?  Why is this happening? Have we forgotten what horror reacting out of fear can bring?  Is this how the Holocaust started?

And I despair.  I have liberal friends in the north, and conservative friends in the south (and vice versa) and these are all people I love, and sometimes, I am just like, WHO ARE YOU?
Where has all this hate and fear been hiding in your soul?  Is it the internet that has given you the freedom to spew all of it without fear of consequence? 

I strongly believe we all have the right to think how we think, and to say what we think.  That is how we grow as people- as we butt heads and disagree and work through the disagreements.  But from what I can see, there is no "working through" happening.  There is just diatribe after diatribe.

So much unlove and yelling.

And in despair, I bowed my head....

As I was pondering all the angst in the world, and these song lyrics during my quiet time this morning, you know, like I do, I recalled that this song was written during the Civil War.  (You remember, the one where we killed thousands of our fellow countrymen?  The one where we decided that it was NOT OKAY to own or oppress people? The one where roughly 620,000 of our people died fighting each other?  That we know of? Yeah.  That one.)

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote the poem in  1861 during a season of grief and despair. It was the middle of the war, his wife had just died from an accident where she was burned, his son was severely injured in the war...he was a single dad, with a kid in the war and a bunch at home, missing his wife, he was despondent, I am sure.

He just...couldn't.  

We have all been there.

But when we are weak, God is strong.

And thus the gorgeous poem that became the song.

And after the above verse, this:

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep

God is not dead nor doubt He sleeps

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

With peace on earth, good will to men.

There is hope.  There is ALWAYS hope.  We can be the bearers of hope.  The bearers of love, of kindness, of generosity.  We can start a conversation, break down the fear of the unknown. 

Isn't that what we want?  To be known?

Isolation and fear, just a couple of the ways the enemy seeks to devour and destroy us.
How many times have you been struggling with something and you are thinking to yourself, 

It's just me, I am the only one who struggles with this: ME and MY addiction, MY marital problems, MY financial woes, MY spiritual stumbling block, MY work drama, MY family drama...MINE, MINE, MINE.  It only happens to ME.  No one else ever struggles with all this stuff.

Well, get over yourself, honey- they do.  They just happen to hide it better than you do, because the devil is whispering those same little lies in their ears as well.

And have you noticed- once you speak your struggle, name your fear, confess your sin...all of a sudden it loses power?  

For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, 

nor anything secret that will not be known 

and come to light.

Luke 8:17

It starts with us.  How do we react in the face of despair?
We can choose to pray, breathe, love, repent, give, ask, listen, speak, heal.

Or, we can choose to accuse, isolate, shut-down, yell, fester.

Sometimes, at 8;30 in the morning, you can hear the bells from the Catholic church a block away from our house.  I love it. They are beautiful I wish they were louder. 

I love that they "interrupt" and remind us that God is not dead, nor doubt He sleeps.
Sometimes, I really need to remember that.

Selah.